1. A day without sunshine is like night.
2. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
3. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
4. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
5. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
6. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
7. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
8. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
9. OK, so what’s the speed of dark?
10. When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
11. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
12. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
13. Why do psychics have to ask you your name?
14. Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
15. Life isn’t like a box of chocolates. It’s more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.
